Stephanie Plum, One for the Money

I’m an avid reader.  Usually my drug of choice is along the fantasy line, but years ago when I worked in Florida a roommate turned me on to this hilarious series about a dysfunctional bounty hunter called Stephanie Plum.  The first book, One for the Money, is due to come out as a movie in January 2012.

In the first book (or as much as I can remember), Stephanie is divorced after she caught her hubby boinking Joyce Barnhardt on their wedding night.  She’s freshly unemployed as a lingerie buyer and looking for a job.  Being from the Berg (in New Jersey) her mom wants her to get a nice job at the button factory and find a nice boy to marry, but Stephanie ends up blackmailing her scum bag, duck fucking, cousin into giving her a job as a bounty hunter.

Let me just say, Stephanie Plum is the WORST bounty hunter ever.  I’ve lost count of car fatalities by book 17.  I’ve also lost count of how many enemies she’s managed to gain and how many odd situations she’s found herself in.  But there’s always a few solid truths through the books.  Ranger and Morelli (the two guys in her life) will always be there as will the Buick that she ends up driving after she blows up, wrecks, or otherwise destroys yet another car.

So the point of this post…Stephanie Plum is due to debut on the big screen.  As a long time fan of Stephanie Plum, I’m not sure how I feel about the cast.  I’m not impressed by Katherine Heigl as Stephanie Plum.  She’s not pudgy at all and she doesn’t wear jeans and t-shirts like Stephanie does in the books.  Jason O’Mara as Joe Morelli, the bad boy italian American turned cop? Mmmm….not exactly how I pictured Morelli.  Daniel Sunjata as Ranger? In the books, Ranger (a Cuban American) just oozes bad boy sex appeal.  There’s scenes in the books so steamy that you have to wonder, who needs romance novels? But Daniel Sunjata? To me, he doesn’t ooze sex appeal at all.

Ok, so I can probably buy the Stephanie Plum, Joe Morelli, and Ranger characters but there is one that I absolutely can’t buy into.  No way, no how.  Who is that? None other than Grandma Mazur.

In the books Stephanie describes Grandma Mazur as this little scrawny woman with skin that covers her bones much like old, cracked, worn leather covers a couch from the 50’s.  However, in the movie, Grandma Mazur (played by Debbie Reynolds) doesn’t look like she has a foot in the grave.  She doesn’t look like the wiry, spunky firecracker described in the books.  She looks entirely too healthy and I’m sorry, sane.

Because of my love of this series, the Dutchie and I will go and watch the movie whenever it ends up in our theaters (it’s premiering in January in the states, will probably be July by the time it gets here.  Bless Hollywood and their squabbles over royalties and copyrights in the 21st centuary).  And we will leave disappointed.  Until then, we are looking forward to Explosive Eighteen, the 18th book in the series due out in November.

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